i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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