Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
