Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize