Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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