I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
