Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
