Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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