ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
