And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
