I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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