Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
