we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Mom said you looked used
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
