I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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