She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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