shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
