so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
