do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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