I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
