I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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