I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
