All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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