Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize