I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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