i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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