This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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