By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
