Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
