I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
ttyl tear gas
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
