Porn is love you can see.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
