Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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