im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
