I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
