Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
