Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
