come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
