She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
