Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize