4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
