I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
