just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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