I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
