the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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