I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
