Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
