I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The Olympian is in my bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
