Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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