I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
