I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize