I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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