You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
