I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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