you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
