Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
