I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
