i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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