How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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