I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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