Christians are straight up FREAKS
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
