No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
