are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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