Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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