yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
