and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
