she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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