is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
