idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
