A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
