I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
