I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
