this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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