well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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