You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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