when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
