I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
