I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
