my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
