SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We are two peas in an std pod
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
