Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
