yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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