this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
