Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
