I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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