I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
