The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
